We have a frequent flyer that occasionally hits our floor. He’s, well, unique. By unique I mean bat-shit crazy. Not one to mince words he told one nurse to, “Get the fuck out of my room!” The other unique thing about him is that he has no nose. Gone. No longer there. Just a gaping void. Why? I have no idea, but I guess it was either excessive cocaine bingeing in the 80’s, an abscess of sorts or a complication of a cancer.
Last time he was in he left AMA with our tele box and leads. One moment he was there, next gone like smoke in the wind. We figured he probably sold the bow to some friendly fellows who thought it brought them messages from beyond. He was back in, for what reason I don’t know. The next time I returned he had left.
We were sitting at the nurse’s station when my friend M piped up, “Where did Mr. No-nose go? Did he get d/c’d?”
Without missing a beat I said, “Naw, he left AMA. He got tired of everyone coming up to him and,” I mime the action of stealing a nose like you do to kids, “I’ve got your nose! I’ve got your nose!”
My charge mutters, “You’re gonna burn for that one.” But it’s lost in the cacophony of laugher rising out of the station. All were laughing, some were even crying, they were laughing so hard.
Inappropriate? Yes, I admit it was. But it was funny though.
Lost on the Floor 