One of Those Weeks

Since it was a full moon this weekend, oh yes, it was a full moon.  I remembered the fun and enjoyment derived from the last full moon.  Oh yes, time for “Fun With the ER Bigboard.”  The rules are simple:  each contestant, er…patient signs in with a “Chief Complaint” which is broadcast on the “Bigboard” that anyone with access to the charting system can see.  And it just so happens us charge nurses look at said Bigboard frequently to prepare for incoming…er, admits.  So here are the winners from the last full moon…

#5: Abdominal Pain/bloody urine (always a crowd favorite)

#4: Chest Pain/cocaine use (yes, Virginia, all that white powder causes your heart to beat really fast)

#3: Possible Labia Abcess (I kind of think this is a lot like pregnancy: it either is, or it ain’t)

#2: Right Buttock Abcess (evidently it was the second half of a matched pair…)

and our winner for this round:

#1: Penis caught in zipper* (ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…)

And now for the bonus round!

Guess which one got admitted?

I’ll give you a hint…think twins.

*Talking with an ER nurse I know, evidently he had a small lac on said member, then when he decided that instead of waiting for the ER doc to get the pliers to “gently” free said member, he tore it out.  Yes, tore it out.  With little bits still left clinging to the zipper was said to have utterd “I was just tired dealing with it, so I took take of it.”  Evidently, he had been imbibing just a little…
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