Another Ray of Sunshine

No for real.  Warning, positivity ahead!

In some weird New Agey/karmic/life balances way, I think the Universe knows when we need a pick-me-up.  To say I’ve been suffering at work is an exageration, but it hasn’t been a place I want to be.  I find my co-workers annoying, the workplace politics suffocating and the patients unbearable at times, and it’s been worse more lately than it has been for some time.  Maybe it is because it is time to move on, or that I’m just having a run of bad weeks.  Worst of it is that it is not the acuity of the patients, it is the overall mind numbingness of the repetitve.  I thrive on challenges, new situations and a chance impact my patients, but lately there hasn’t been that.  Suffering from a case of  “give a shit syndrome.”  Which is quite toxic.

The last shift I worked did that.  I wasn’t in charge, had a semi-challenging group of patients, but what’s more important, I actually felt like I made a difference.  It wasn’t just one intervention, but that I was able to be present, be available and be involved and immersed with my patients.  It was the connection that reminded me why I love nursing.  There were the times I wanted to slam my head against a wall, actually wanted to bitch slap my co-workers for their stupidity (really, who tells an elderly post-op patient that their heart stopped when it didn’t?  It just scares them to ask for any pain meds even though they are in agony.).  But those annoyances were far outweighed by the positives.

It’s refreshing to hear a family member stick up for the nurse to the doctor, for the patient to effusively thank you for “being here when I call” and to know that my comatose patient is fluffed and buffed so that the oncoming shift won’t have to worry about it for awhile.  When I got home, there was the feeling of being tired, but knowing it was from doing a job well, rather than the tired of boredom.  It was a nice change.

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